FEEDING LIBRARY ARTICLE
Kristin Hansen, OTR/L
Pediatric Occupational Therapist & Feeding Therapist
6 MINUTE READ | JULY 2026
If dinner feels like a battle every night, it probably isn't because your child is trying to make your life difficult. More often, they're communicating something they don't have words for.
The truth behind picky eating (and why it doesn't automatically mean something is wrong)
If I had a dollar for every time a parent said that to me, I'd probably have enough to buy everyone reading this a cup of coffee.
As a pediatric occupational therapist and feeding therapist, I hear this all too often.
A child who happily ate eggs suddenly refuses them.
The pasta they requested yesterday is now "yucky."
The blueberries they couldn't get enough of last month now stay untouched on the plate.
Parents usually look at me with the same worried expression and ask: "What happened?" Then comes the question:
"I get to make choices."
That's healthy. It's exactly what development is supposed to look like. Unfortunately...dinner becomes one of the easiest places to practice saying "NO."
Parents often see stubborness. I see independence. Food simply becomes the practice ground.
Adult sees: 🍓 A strawberry
Children may experience:
soft | firm | sweet | sour | mushy | cold
Babies grow incredibly fast. Toddler don't. That means their appetite naturally goes up and down.
One day...three bowls of pasta.
The next...Two crackers and air.
Instead of judging one dinner...look at nutrition across an entire day.
That bigger picture is usually far more reassuring and telling.
Many us of grew up hearing:
"Just take one bite."
"Finish your vegetables."
"No dessert until your plate is clean."
Parents usually say these things because they care. Unfortnately...pressure often creates more resistance.
Child stop exploring food...and start avoiding pressure and eating.
Behavior is communication.
Sometimes they're just trying to say:
"I'm exhausted."
"I'm overwhelmed."
"I need connection."
"I'm adjusting to a change."
"I'm simply not hungry."
Food becomes the messanger. The real message is underneath the behavior.
One of the biggest mistakes parents make is removing a food forever.
Children need repeated opportunities. Not repeated pressure.
Simply continue serving the food occassionally.
No speeches. No negotiations. No expectations. Just another opportunity for learning.
This mindset changes everything.
Your responsibility is to:
Decide what is served
Decide when meals happen
Create a calm environment.
Your child's responsibility is to:
Whether to eat
How much to eat
When everyone stays in their lane...meals become much calmer.
Talk to your pediatrician or a feeding therapist if your child:
Eats only a very small number of foods
Is losing weight
Isn't growing well
Frequently gags or chokes
Avoids entire food textures
Becomes extremely distressed during meals
Mealtimes consistently end in tears.
Getting support doesn't mean you've failed. It means you're getting a plan.
Most parents weren't taught feeding development. They were handed pressure. Conflicting advice. And unrealistic expectations
Because confident parents create calmer mealtimes. And calmer mealtimes create space for children to learn.
About Kristin
I've spent more than 15 years helping families reduce stress around food as a pediatric occupational therapist and feeding therapist. My mission is simple: replace guilt with confidence and help parents create calmer mealtimes.
If dinner has been feeling stressful lately, I created something to help.
FREE GUIDE
5 Feeding Therapist Scripts
Simple, practical scripts you can use tonight
Reduce power struggles at the tablle
Protect your child's relationship with food